Tag Archive for: joy

As a (wo)man thinketh…so is (s)he.

26 Mar
March 26, 2012

I’m realizing that I like the way I think. It’s a practice I’ve chosen into and cultivated for the past decade. I look back on how I used to think and it is painful to be aware of just how limited it was then. But I like it now. I feel so grateful for the process. It was defining and now is the basis from how I operate in my life. But why does that matter? Why blog about the way I think? So as I look at potential LDS singles and dating companions…well, how they think is pretty darn important to me now.

What I have learned now that I am maturing is this whole wonderful dance between agency, thought, the power of choice, the power of moving the thought forward and feeling the energy that flows. I’m completely attracted to people that can do the same. It feels like “visionary” on a whole new level.

Whining about circumstances, clinging to non-helpful cultural and personal beliefs like I did in the past—and yes, even in my difficult marriage of 17 years—is just not helpful. If you want something different, then change the way you are thinking about it and make it happen. That’s where the magic of the experience lies. And I dare say, the magic of relationships. Whatever type they are.

I’m interested in what you’ve given up to move forward.

What did you learn? Leave a comment and tell me your story.

Now I’ve gone and done it….

24 Mar
March 24, 2012

It’s easy to lie low, hide in the shadows, hang back in the LDS Singles scene. I’ve been pretty good at for a very long time. Like over a decade. You rack up quite a few perceptions and quite a few observations about being single in an LDS world. I’m not bitter about any of that. I’m resolved and accepting of the circumstances which led to my singleness. I’m actually grateful for what the journey has taught me. My experience is unique to me.

My only frustration is that “single” category in the church puts me in a 31+ group with incredible diversity. Its just soooo broad. And there are a lot of us. Sometimes the only thing we have in common is that we are “LDS singles”.

There are people who have never married. People who have lost spouses to death. Then, there’s the whole spectrum of us that are divorced throughout a myriad range of stages in our marriages, and for a hundred different reasons. Each one of us has a story. Each one of us has a lesson or two learned. Each one of us has uniquely passed through many stages and hopefully many of us have found that ”all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly.” (D&C 90:4)

We are hopefully emerging from our unique experiences  with a new perspective. It’s a grand, soul-stretching process. Hopefully it is teaching all of us wisdom and allowing us to grow past and into our new circumstances. Ultimately, the prize is joy.

As I look around the web, there are not too many places for us to find community and perspective within our circumstances of being single. That’s frustrating. It’s intimidating. And…well, its a little bit challenging too. Hopefully we can change that here.

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